Day 21: Nurse Jenn Gray
Where do you serve at Onward?
Women's Bible Study, Safety Medical Team
God’s Promise and Scripture
God’s Promise: Peace when we trust in Him.
Scripture: You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3
Devotional
When I was first given the list of God’s promises to choose from, all so wonderful, choosing one to highlight was difficult. But I ended up looking at the verses and picking from the ones that I frequently find myself reminding others and myself of - almost on a daily basis.
Isaiah 26:3 reminds us of this beautiful promise: “You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You - in both inclination and character], Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation].”(AMP) The promise of peace WHEN we trust in Him. It is not the promise of peace, always. But the promise of peace with the choosing on our part to TRUST in Him.
Though I became a follower of Jesus at the age of eight years old, I have struggled with the sin of anxiety and worry. It is that “thorn in my flesh” that keeps me on my knees begging for the Lord’s forgiveness and reliance. You see I came kicking and screaming to Onward in March of 2018 having moved to Frisco to help my elderly mother who had just had a stroke and was faced with significant heart issues. The struggle continued even stronger with my son who has type 1 diabetes headed off to college in what seemed like another country but was just 6 hours north in Kansas. And last but not least, was coming to grips with my daughter, the youngest of my two children, who was and continues to struggle with her own identity issues. I was faced with a whole new level of trusting God, especially as a single mom. I decided to try out a ministry in the summer of 2021 called “Re:generation,” a biblically based recovery discipleship program offered at that time at Onward, because of my paralyzing encounters with fear of my son dying and my daughter’s pursuit of her same sex attraction.
Anxiety, worry…that was what I thought was my reason for going to re:gen, but those were just a few of the expressions of a bigger issue. The issue of trust. Was I really fully trusting God with my everything - my kids, my aging mom, my future? Oh, I knew in my mind LOTS of verses, easy to recite but wow, was I really believing them? No, I was NOT fully trusting God. Maybe I was trusting Him with 80% of my heart. Some days even higher, possibly 99% of my heart. But 100%? That is what is asked of us. (See Proverbs 3:5-6)
To relinquish the “mama control power” that I thought I had, to give up trying to “help God out,” because you know - He really needs my help at times…NOT! Going through this intensive year-long discipleship program with some Jesus seeking women really helped me see that my mind tended to NOT be “steadfast, committed and focused” on God, but on me. I was trusting in myself, taking refuge in the ways I could try and manipulate situations only to find myself a complete mess, wrecked with the results of panic attacks, sleepless nights, persistent fears. It wasn’t until I surrendered my will, my children’s journeys to God, my mom’s compounding health issues, my broken dreams, everything to the Peace giver.
We read in Isaiah 9:6 this beautiful messianic prophecy, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall by upon his shoulder and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” This special baby’s birth we celebrate every year is the promised Prince of Peace. Jesus is our Peace in the midst of our trials, our broken relationships, our health crisis. When we surrender to the Prince of Peace and set our minds to focus on His character and unchanging love, we will experience the perfect and constant peace.
Reflection Questions
Where in your life do you struggle to experience the Prince of Peace?
What qualities of the Messiah do you find help you experience peace in this broken world?
What other verses can you find that will help you trust and surrender so you can experience the peace that surpasses all understanding?