God’s Promise and Scripture

God’s Promise: That He (God) has gone before me, and is always with me.

Scripture: It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Devotional

There I was in the Denton County Jail parking lot about to check myself in for a short stint in jail after violating probation. My entire life, I felt like I could wiggle my way out of everything, but it had all finally caught up to me. A DWI, PI, multiple other arrests – not to mention I was newly married, and we had already welcomed a baby boy, only to find out a few months later that I actually had another son from a previous relationship in my college days. My world felt like it was literally crashing in around me. 

In God's kindness, the Lord spoke clearly to me right before I checked myself in. He laid the verse Deuteronomy 31:8 on my heart, “do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will never fail you nor abandon you.” 

I had felt like I was walking alone most of my journey. How could He be with me now? Where was He before? What was He trying to say to me? 

As I went through the awful and very humbling check-in process and finally got settled, the first thing that happened was another inmate looked at me and said, “Here, you need this more than I do,” and handed me a Bible. I broke. 

You see, up to this point, I’ve been trying to do life all on my own, thinking that I can white knuckle my way through things. I also would hide and deceive others, trying to stuff my junk away so no one could see the real me, but it always just leads me back to places I never want to be again. This way of ‘living’ left me broken and alone, while hurting those closest to me. What I realized was that God was calling me to draw near to him (James 4:8). It took breaking me down completely, almost losing my family, and spending lonely, cold nights in jail to realize He was always there with me. I was the one who was choosing to disregard Him, but the moment I started yielding to the Spirit, my life ultimately changed. I was slowly being sanctified to look more like Christ. 

A huge part of this process was letting other believers in. We found a church home, I started re-generation (a recovery ministry), and my wife and I started meeting regularly with our community group. Having other men, who were chasing after Christ, shepherd me and hold me accountable is something I will never take for granted. I started spending time with Him daily, worked on my marriage with my wife, and sought forgiveness and reconciliation with my oldest son. Now, I get to pour into our four kids and lead and mentor others to come to know Jesus. I am still broken and daily need to be reminded that I am nothing apart from Jesus (John 15:5). Life is still crazy hard at times, but He is always there in the mountains and the valleys with me, walking ahead of me and calling me to draw near to Him!

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

1. In what ways has Jesus gone before you? Ahead of you? Do you see Him in all things, or struggling to see Him as I was?

2. How do you invite others in to point you back to Christ? 

3. What does it look like for you to draw near to Christ?